Twelve Bright Stars
Elianna Raine Boyd was a much loved and respected girl, both in our family and at school. We miss her. Every time the tree at the school shows its beautiful leaves in the fall, we are reminded of her. I lost something extraordinarily special the day the angels took her away, but I gained much wisdom, compassion and spirituality since she left us.
In the past several weeks I have felt the need to express my feelings since the loss of Elianna. Many of you are wondering how we are doing and how we're are coping from day to day. It has been a difficult year without Elianna. Today, June 22nd is her birthday. I miss seeing Elianna still and the way she used to laugh, I miss brushing her thick red hair, I miss watching her holding her sister’s hand in a comforting way, how she used to cuddle up to her favorite dog - Ace, and also being a role model to her brother and sister.
She loved her friends and having sleepovers. It is painful for me to see Elianna’s classmates growing up to become teenagers but I do take comfort in the fact that Elianna is growing spiritually, each and every day. Although I may be sad that she isn't here with us, she is only a heartbeat away and I know she sees us all too, as we talk of her and the things she did. I remember her being proud of the fish she caught a couple of weeks before she passed and this memory makes me smile a lot. She was close to nature and loved animals. I like to think of Elianna as living and learning as a spiritual being in a peaceful dimension, where love exists and pain does not.
The amount of strength that I have personally experienced has been truly amazing. I have never in my life felt so strong. The strength has filtered through me onto my family. This strength isn't a weight on my shoulders but a gift from God. I also believe Elianna is giving us strength from up above and even though she is no longer here physically, she is alive and well in heaven and her soul will live on forever.
Elianna has taught me so much since her passing. She has taught me to have an open heart and mind. Both Danny and I have experienced signs from her together and separately, signs of comfort telling us she is still around. I sense peace in my heart knowing that she is at rest. She came to us for a short while, experienced our love, and then returned to a better place.
Elianna touched many hearts even though she was only here for a short time. Elianna has come to me in my dreams on a few occasions, two of which telling me that she is ok and that she made it. I truly believe we all have our own life plan and some life plans are shorter than others. Elianna was only meant to be here for 12 years, although she is not physically here on earth, her soul lives on forever in heaven with God and one day we will see her again. I believe Elianna is only a thought away and is helping us thru our sorrow.
I have never felt angry with God since Elianna passed away, in fact I thank him constantly for helping my family through the grief. He means no harm to anybody and certainly doesn't give us anymore than we can handle. This we have experienced firsthand. I don’t see life as meaningless. I don’t see this tragedy as horrible or terrible as some people might think. I have seen a lot of positive which has come from this. Sometimes we can turn life’s tragedies around and bring good out of them.
Elianna has taught me to look at the positive in life. She has taught me not to worry so much about the past or the future but to live in the present. Why worry about the past when we can’t go back and why worry about the future when the future isn't here yet? None of us are invincible and anything can happen any time to any one of us like it did to Elianna. It was because of Elianna’s living and dying that I am beginning to appreciate life, re-evaluate my priorities and have a better understanding about life and why we are here.
Dan and I will always be Elianna’s parents. Daniel will always be Elianna’s brother and Jessica will always be Elianna’s sister. Love is stronger than death and does not change anything about our family. We, as a family are survivors and have been strong enough to endure what is probably life’s harshest blow. Elianna doesn’t want us to be sad but to go on so we can take care of Daniel and Jessica. If Elianna were here today, I feel she would be proud of the way we are coping so fantastically well as a family. She knows she does not have to worry for us, and knows in a spiritual way that we need to be loving parents for Jessica and Daniel. We think of her every single day and pray for her at night.
Last but not least, we donated all of Elianna's healthy organs to grateful recipients and knowing at least that others have the chance to live and that Elianna's earthly life was not in vain, I’m especially proud that someone has received Elianna’s good and caring heart, beating proudly in someone else’s chest and giving that person a new lease in life. Thank you Elianna for letting us share your life for 12 happy and fun-filled years. You gave us much joy within that short time that we will treasure forever.....