After the rain stopped and my tears finally dried, the sun came out to warm my face. When I looked up I noticed a beautiful bright rainbow appearing in the sky. It was at that precise moment I knew that my journey had begun...
As I saw Elianna crawl out from the bathroom that day I started shaking. I could not believe my own eyes. My child, crawling on her hands and knees, saying, "Help me, help me" Was this some kind of dream I was in? I yelled loudly to my husband, "Something isn’t right here, something isn’t right!" I felt so helpless seeing my precious daughter struggling to get to the living room. My motherly instincts started to kick in and it was then I called 911.
Since losing Elianna I have gained so much strength and spiritual insight that it truly has been not only a turbulent journey but an enlightened journey where I am finding my inner peace and a connectedness to the soul. Love will always remain between my dear daughter and I because love is stronger than death.
We are to face many tests in our lifetime where emotions and feelings pour out of us like an ongoing waterfall. Sometimes this waterfall continues but then after a while the flow of the water lessens, but it never actually stops. Sometimes there is a drip here and there of tears that will always flow but nowadays I can smile despite my tears and carry on with my life and to raise the family as best I can.
Our family has experienced many changes that we have had to adapt to since my daughter’s passing, but the most important of all is that knowing death is just a transition from this world to the next. Death is just the beginning and that Elianna is alive. People don’t die - only their physical bodies die as the soul lives on.
Every time the tree at the school shows its beautiful leaves in the fall, we are reminded of her. I lost something extraordinarily special the day the angels took her away, but I gained much wisdom and strength thru my spiritual journey.
I have learned that life is about balance and we have to face the good with the bad and to take these life experiences by helping others. Growth within us is the reason why such experiences and tragedies happen. Knowing about something is one thing, but actually experiencing it is another. We tried to make sense of Elianna’s passing and that her life here was fulfilled in one sense and that she had to leave for reasons known by the higher powers. In time, I accepted her passing and by doing so I grew because of experiencing grief first-hand. We learn from these experiences through spiritual knowledge and we turn the sadness into smiles and wisdom. This void Elianna left behind is filled by spiritual thoughts and prayers which comforts me and are still helping to heal my family and me today.
She was loved and cherished and lived 12 years to the fullest. The zest and energy she put into those years live on still in all those around her today. The tree the school dedicated to Elianna bares beautiful red leaves each fall, a reminder to me of her wonderful chestnut-red hair; the tree is a poignant reminder - as it blossoms and grows – that life really goes on. There may be life-changing situations but there is never an end to life, it is just a continuous cycle.